The Green Eyed Monster is what Jealousy is usually called. A not so nice term for something we detest admitting to feeling and yet it can be a brilliant source of information about your untapped potential in life. Let’s reframe Jealousy as a darling superhero for now. Fierce with wild hair, flashing eyes and the sky’s-the-limit thinking we had in childhood. Her tools grab your attention by twisting up your insides and making you feel like a thousand bricks are sitting on your chest. She makes you want to strike out at the offender who dares be more successful than you, that bastard! She flushes your face with heat, like habanero pepper kind of heat, so intense it makes your eyes water.
Hey, I didn’t say she was nice! I said she’s your superhero best friend if you’ll let her be!
Jealousy has one purpose. She shows up to tell you what really matters to you. She points out gifts and talents going unused or underutilized. She lets you know, albeit a little painfully, that you are off your ultimate life track dearie. Jealousy is in a sense the trail breaker for your Muse who is waiting in the wings, tapping her foot ready for you to get busy working your particular brand of Awesome!
I’m not jealous of architects, or graphic designers or computer programmers. I’ve never once found myself seething over some idiot politician, or porn star or blueberry farmer. Well that’s not entirely true, I have felt some minor
jealousy over blueberry farmers until I think about how early in the morning they have to get up. In addition, blueberry farmers have to deal with weather and bugs and what not, so no more jealousy there. Those ways are not my path so I rarely even notice them.
I used to feel jealous over people who rescued animals on a regular basis – how cool! How wonderful to save so many fuzzy faced lives! I was jealous because it was part of my path through this world and I wasn’t doing it. Once I started, no more jealousy although that’s in part because rescuing animals is tough, I mean this shit is hard! However, having taken in another “showed up in the yard hungry” cat and having found homes for countless other dogs and cats, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I’ve had terrible bouts of jealousy over other writers invariably when I’m slacking on my own writing. I got pissed off at online course folks working from home or did until I took the leap and started holding teleconferences. I used to be mad jealous of people who could draw until I allowed that part of me who loves art to start doing it too. Now I’m jealous of Ben Moore an artist whose mastery of color is profoundly intriguing and Bernadette Kazmarski who is a genius with fluid lines. So sweet superhero Jealousy let’s me know I can learn that skill too I’m just not acting on it yet.
Jealousy has visited me often! I was furious many times over people around me who seemed to find love at the drop of a pair of…well let’s just say hat. It wasn’t until I paid attention to the fury that I could see Jealousy was telling me it actually was in the cards for me but there was work to do to allow it, him, to show up in my world. There often is work in between you and life purpose type expression otherwise you’d already be doing it and never feeling jealous!
Jealousy has zapped me with massive gut twisters to let me know I’m not allowing money into my world as well as I could be. I felt her point out that I was saying all kinds of judgey rotten things about people who seemed financially successful as if I couldn’t also be rolling in that sweet moolah, too. As if there is only so many units of success and that asshat just sucked up half of them leaving that much less for me!
No sweetie patootie, Jealousy is telling you item X that you’re so jealous of someone else having can be yours too. In fact it’s destined to be yours or you wouldn’t feel so mad about it! Are you mad and jealous that we have 6 cats? Probably not. Although if you’re reading this blog regularly you likely have a houseful of pets already so maybe that’s a bad example!
My point is that if Jealousy graces you with a visit welcome her with open arms, even if those arms are shaking because you’re so dang enraged! Listen to what you’re saying in your head about those %#*$^%$@ who just got a book contract they don’t deserve or landed a high dollar client or whatever. You’re only mad because it’s meant for you too but you aren’t owning it or you haven’t taken the time to trasnform your limiting beliefs and stories about why you don’t already have it in your life.
Avoiding the massive power contained within your own Soul means it turns inward into apathy, procrastination and the “fuck its”. Or possibly worse, it expresses outward into road rage, chronic complaining, gossip and picking apart other people’s successes. None of these are necessary and they are incredibly destructive to you and those around you. You deserve better.
Don’t know your purpose in life? Who are your most jealous of? Start there, ask to be shown how to get back on your path and practice opening up to the endless streams of energy available to you to accomplish your disowned dreams and then wait to see what next step comes to mind. Then take that step and repeat over and over.
I help people navigate their way to owning their power and raising their Happiness Threshold through intuitive coaching, Desire Map based group coaching, using essential oils to create energetic shifts and enhanced Reiki sessions. Please see the tabs at the top of this blog for more information and please own your gifts. We need you out here!
Excellent post!! I love this and I need to start paying attention more when I’m feeling jealous and not just beat myself up over being “mean” about someone else’s success.
Yes exactly use it as a tool!
Excellent post!! I love this and I need to start paying attention more when I’m feeling jealous and not just beat myself up over being “mean” about someone else’s success.
Yes exactly use it as a tool!
Terrific observations, Michelle! I’ve always tended to pull an emotional bag over my head when I’m envious, rather than face it. It never occurred to me that jealousy could actually be useful — perhaps because I’ve seen it embodied so often as unhealthy competition.
I agree Jane we’ve made it such an unhealthy cut throat kind of thing when it doesn’t need to be that way
Terrific observations, Michelle! I’ve always tended to pull an emotional bag over my head when I’m envious, rather than face it. It never occurred to me that jealousy could actually be useful — perhaps because I’ve seen it embodied so often as unhealthy competition.
I agree Jane we’ve made it such an unhealthy cut throat kind of thing when it doesn’t need to be that way