There are gifts in your weight, really there are too many to count. I totally get that you may not see them yet so let’s chat for a few but not about losing weight ok?
I quit weighing myself years ago. I quit shaming myself and I quit avoiding the word fat in conversation. I started buying clothes that fit and I went back to wearing sleeveless tops because damn it it’s hot outside! I lay this amount of progress squarely at the feet of Geneen Roth and her books especially Women, Food and God. I love my body I really do. I am at peace without a scale what I wasn’t at peace with was feeling out of control.
I have been way way out of control. I still ate compulsively most evenings. I still ate when I didn’t want to eat another bite. I still ate gluten and spent hours in extreme pain from bloating and vomiting. I felt like I did when I was hooked on nicotine and smoking with bronchitis: in tears, in pain and totally unable to stop myself. I often felt like I was literally force feeding myself like a foie gras goose in France only I was stuffing down cartons of ice cream and baskets of french fries.
Addiction sucks until you stumble your way into some information that literally changes everything as I did while studying (and still am) with Jody England. It hasn’t been long, just about 4 weeks since I woke up one morning and realized my food compulsions were gone. I haven’t talked about it much because I figured it was a fluke. Perhaps my shifting hormones or my sweet forest air but they’re still gone. I mean gone as in I eat 1 square of dark chocolate and see my hand folding the paper and putting it away as if by itself. There’s no compulsion to get it back out and cram in the rest.
Last week I threw away half a gluten free muffin just because it was dry. Dry! WTF?! I saw my hand do it and felt my eyes pop open wide. I just threw half a muffin in the trash! 3 weeks ago I bought mini gluten free cupcakes at a local bakery and planned to jam that gooey goodness all the way home but then I ate one and felt the sugar pound my head like a sledgehammer. Looking at the other three I wanted to hurl and I set the box down side-eyeing them with suspicion. I gave them to my husband because that’s what wives do right? For the love of all things sugary and chocolaty what had I done? I was checking inside all throughout my being looking for the urge to take back the cupcakes – nothing. The day of the trash muffin I was waiting for the urge to arise to dig it back out of the trash and eat it when no one was looking. I didn’t find that urge. It’s gone.
I don’t own a scale. I only know my eating has changed and stayed changed in some very drastic ways. My wedding rings fit again. My clothes are looser. I eat and feel full within minutes and I stop. Me, a lifetime struggle as a compulsive eater, stops now with ease, without a second thought and without any sense of compulsion anywhere.
I’m no expert on this particular path. I am an expert on addictions, how they look, how hard it is to quit, how sometimes harm reduction is the best you can do for yourself. I am an expert on myself and I know you are the expert on yourself. I know I see and hear your Shadow through reading your energy field. I know I can help you see it too and that path leads us to where all the treasures in your weight are hiding out.
I suspect you know good and well how and what to eat, how and when to exercise and the calorie count for every piece of food on the planet. I suspect like me you would gear up, start the plan, do really well and then crash and burn filled with the shame and recrimination that all addictions cause.
I’m offering a session package on this where we will not be discussing food. It’s not about the weight. It’s not even about loving your body which you may or may not feel right now.
It’s about choice. It’s about consciousness.
It’s about you being in the driver’s seat of what you eat and when without shame, without compulsion, without bypassing what’s really going on.
It’s about finding where your power is and settling into it. It’s about reconnecting to your energy field, your chakras if you will, and learning to feel into the lower half of your body which you might not know that you exited years ago.
You might have to feel some things. You might have to face some Shadow selves that were exiled years ago. You have done some pretty hard things in your life and if you are compulsively force feeding yourself facing your Shadow is easier than that process my dear.
You might have to learn the art of saying a “Sacred No”. Not to yourself but to some things outside of you that are draining off your precious life force and triggering a compulsion to restore and replenish through food which never works.
None of this is about taking anything away. I won’t be asking you to change your eating habits or count your calories. I don’t care what your allergies are or which foods you binge on.
The weight is the message. The weight is where the treasure trove of information lives. The hidden dreams and denied power are right there in the thighs you can’t stand to touch. The longings and desires of your Body for you to return to deep connection with it are living there in your belly pooch that you might actively detest.
You’re not a loser (pun intended). You’re not a fifty time diet failure in any way shape or form. It’s time to stop the hatred and the wild goose chase of dieting and binge/purge cycles.
The compulsion to eat is your body trying to accomplish what it simply cannot do. If you need a hammer you don’t go to the fruit stand to get one and ultimately that’s what’s happening. You’re trying to fix an issue that your body knows exists with the wrong tool and telling yourself a lot of shamey stories about it in the process.
I will be asking you to commit to 30 days of a short daily practice of breath work and journaling and dance. I will be asking your permission to read your energetic fields and see what is going on at the level of your coding. I will be asking you to walk along with me as we explore the stories you have about your rights as a human being on this planet. I will always tell you the Truth as I see it and I will never tell you that any of this is about will power or lack thereof.
This is setup as a 45-60 minute phone call with me each week for 2 weeks. A week off with homework is followed by another call. During each call we’ll be looking into your energy and I’ll be teaching you how to manage your energetic expenditures in the world which are so much more than you ever imagined. I’ll be showing you how to hear the call of your body to come home, to uncover your power and how to start stepping into it.
You’ll have homework and you’ll have email support between calls. I’ll recommend some essential oils that are optional. I’ll be giving you a ton of resources and an aftercare plan because this isn’t about being “fixed” or losing a predetermined amount of pounds this is deep change not quick fixes.
You’ll be looking at your weight not as a burden but as a source of information, as a gift(s) to you, as a new language to learn not something to get rid of. You might lose weight. You might not. I can’t make you one single promise other than you will have the opportunity to do some significant change in a short period of time while learning a lot about yourself, your style and your personal needs.
These skills work beyond a 15 or 50 pound weight loss. They last a lifetime if practiced regularly and most importantly they put you in control of that which has made you feel like you were drowning and no one could save you.
Come with me for 30 days and I’ll show you that you can save yourself.