Shadow work, which is my primary focus, is not only looking at the rejected parts of you labeled as “negative”. It’s not just about loving your inner bitch or your petty childish thoughts. The harder challenge may be to own your beauty, how much you are loved by others and how much the world needs your particular fingerprint in Its clay. At some point when you can love the leprous, the jealous, the degenerate and the greedy, you may be faced with the larger challenge of loving your magnificence.

We spend a whole day(s) on this in my Shadow Blessings course learning to understand that your s-heroes are also you. Everything you’re jealous of, you possess inside. Everything you admire about anyone is also in your system. We take the concept of a life as a mirror seriously in that group!

There will come a time when to move forward requires allowing in the physical feelings and sensations of love from others and even more challenging, the awareness of the love that Source holds for you which IS you.

Isn’t it interesting that we are more able to accept the parts which could be defined as the worst, yet struggle when someone gives us the gift of a compliment? I’ve never seen anyone brush off a compliment as fast as my husband. He’s the world champion Master of the Compliment Reject Maneuver. If he can’t find words to brush it off fast enough, he just ignores what was said. His selective deafness knows no bounds when it comes to receiving appreciation for his skills and giving (over-giving) heart. As a result, he tends to attract those who take advantage and don’t return the consideration.

Are any of these you?

“I help everyone all the time, but when I need something, there’s no one to be found!”

“Well, I would take care of myself, but x, y, z needs help first.”

“As soon as I get this and that done, then I’ll schedule some time for me.”

Yeah, I thought so. Welcome to the club which includes the majority of women that I know. I’d love to see this club fail for lack of membership.

Is it possible that today could be different? Could it be that today is the day you allow in 10% more love than you’ve ever allowed yourself to feel in your body? 5%? 1%?

Can you look at a picture of your most beloved person or pet and then into the mirror so you can see the love in your face?

Would you be willing to hold that space of love for your mirror image for 1 or 2 seconds? Nanoseconds? Picoseconds?

If you won’t deny love to your children and dear ones, why deny it to yourself any longer?

Stories are the answer to why. We have stories to tell us in every moment not to get too big, too successful, too radiant. We want to be good people so if to feel self-love is bad then we won’t go there. In general, no one deliberately chooses to be a bad person so of course we cut ourselves down before we can stake a step toward greatness.

Unraveling these stories takes time, however, it is without a doubt the most worthy goal I can imagine. Imagine if the average person loved themselves. Would there be such resistance to sharing resources and space? If we truly know that not only do we have enough, but we are enough, would we not build systems to support people rather than tear them down or prevent their success?

Our meanness is not the source of our struggles, it is being asleep to our magnificence that is killing us as individuals, as a country and as a world.

Will you save us by saving yourself?